Catching Up on the News

U.N. Invited to Syria in Hariri Probe

By HUSSEIN DAKROUB

BEIRUT, Lebanon (AP) - Under intense pressure to cooperate with a U.N. probe, Syria on Saturday invited the chief U.N. envoy investigating the assassination of former Lebanese Premier Rafik Hariri to visit Damascus and meet with Syrian authorities.

TM opines: Well,...I'm sure the UNtied Nations will do their usual thorough investigation. Most likely, though, is their ability to find the lost city of Atlantis, the real killers of JFK, and why TWA 800 went down, first.

Pennsylvania to Allow Sunday Beer Sales

By MARK SCOLFORO

CAMP HILL, Pa. (AP) - Enjoying a cold beer is getting a little easier in Pennsylvania this holiday weekend, but only a little. Under new state laws in effect this weekend, Jim Yaple, president of Westy Beer Distributor, is among 800 distributors now allowed for the first time to sell beer by the case on Sundays - in the afternoon.

TM opines (again): Awesome,...Like I didn't drink enough beer whilst (oops, wrong English) while I was in England!

Kanye West Rips Bush at Hurricane Aid Show

By FRAZIER MOORE

NEW YORK (AP) - A celebrity telethon for Hurricane Katrina survivors took an unexpected turn when outspoken rapper Kanye West went off script during the live broadcast, declaring America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible.''

TM opines (in disgust): Two words - ASS,...HOLE!!!!!