My New Year's Revolutions for 2006

Yes, readers, it's that time of year where, once again, I will try to impose my will upon the blogosphere:

1. The Gospel says that God, in the form of the Holy Spirit, came down upon the Apostles and made them speak in tongues. Here's hoping that some 2000 years later, God will perform his miracle on all of the MSM talking heads and give them the ability to utter "Merry CHRISTmas" on live TV.
2. The MSM will quit trying to parse the US Constitution. It can't be "a living document" when the left gets its way and an sacrosanct institution when the right gets its way!
3. 2006 will be the year Scientology is exposed for what it truly is: a Hollywood-backed cult designed to eliminate any moral, Christian (and especially Catholic) input into the entertainment we watch on TV, the movies or DVDs.
4. Star couples will no longer be referred to by some combo-name like "Bennifer" or "Brangelina!" For God's sake, these are two individuals so, unless they get put through some molecular combining technology, stop referring to them in the singular!
5. People who park in handicapped spots, when they aren't, oughtta get knee-capped - this way they'll finally have an excuse to park there!
6. We have an obesity problem in this country. We have a problem with fossil fuels. Here's a solution to both problems - park your super-sized SUV somewhere other than the front door of the mall and WALK instead of idling away for twenty-plus minutes waiting for your special spot!
7. If Islam really is "a religion of peace," then the peace-loving mullahs of the world need to step up and say some thing,..NOW! If not, put or shut up!
   

This posting was brought to you by: ZolZac - The SSRI combo that allows me to keep posting s**t like this everyday!