Too Funny to Pass Up!

Huge HT to BobG at Sweet Spirits of Ammonia for this one:

Dear Abby:

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything.What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is buy cigars and cruise around and shoot the bull with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college, he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I am a lesbian.

What should I do?

Signed,Clueless


Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore. You're a United States senator from New York. Act like it!