A Few Thoughts on the World Cup

While baking in the hot sun yesterday at Citizens Bank Park, watching a rare occasion - the Phillies winning - my friends and I debated the validity of the World Cup and why no one in the US pays much attention to it.

Here's what we came up with: any activity where 20 people run up and down an enormous field, with two large nets, kicking a ball around for 90 minutes and not once scoring a f**king point, can't be a sport!!

Now,..imagine if you can, if the US could reverse things and make football the big world-beloved pastime. Here's a thumbnail sketch of how a few national teams would look:

• England - Good defence (their spelling), but can't seem to sack that QB, since it wouldn't be sporting to take out the captain of the ship! Pip-pip,...
  
• Netherlands - Lots of speed on the team. Also, lots of weed, coke, "E," meth and Roofies!
• France - Known for their front four "Maginot Line" defense. Unfortunately, susceptible to the end around and blitz.
• Germany - still redefining the term "blitz."
• Iran - Energetic young team. Cheerleaders suck in black burkhas!
• Israel - Nobody gets into their territory. Period.