What Part of NO Don't You Understand??
Picture, if you will, the latest Discover Card advert campaign. The shots are in B&W. People sit on a stool and talk candidly about themselves.
Here's how my advert would go:
A balding, hefty guy with a moderately-deranged look in his eyes sits on the ubiquitous stool.
- Um,..I'm 41 and I'm a paramedic.
- I'm single
- I work for an idiot who was pushing Matchbox ambulances on his living room floor when I started in this business.
- I like to travel, go to movies, and dine out with friends
- I have a DISCOVER card and THEY KEEP CALLING ME FIVE TIMES A DAY, EVERY BUSINESS DAY, TRYING TO SELL ME SOMETHING!!!
When I called to cancel my card because of the aforementioned calling, the conversation went something like this:
DISC: Discover Card services, how may I help you?
TM: I'd like to cancel my card.
DISC: I'm sorry to hear that. Why are you canceling it?
TM: Because you people keep calling me, five times a day, every day.
DISC: Well, Mr. Medic, I can put you on our "do not call" list.
TM: I already did that before Christmas. You're still calling me. Cancel my card!
DISC: Well, Mr. Medic, I'm authorized to give your account at 2.9% APR, locked for 30 months.
TM: That's nice, but you'll still be calling me. I want me card cancelled.
DISC: Well, then I'll put you on our "do not call" list.
TM: Are you listening to me?? I want me account cancelled! If you cancel it, you won't be calling me anymore!
DISC: Well,..I can still remove you from the list and give you the 2.9% APR.
TM: No,..you can cancel my account and stop harassing me every day. Five times a day, every day is harassment!
DISC: (mumbling) So you say,..
TM: I'm sorry,..wanna get some balls and say that again loud enough for the people monitoring this to hear it??
DISC: Excuse me?
TM: Tell you what,...put your manager on, or at least someone who speaks English.
DISC: I am speaking English, sir.
TM: Then,..what part of "CANCEL MY ACCOUNT" didn't you understand??
DISC: Hold on, sir,...
This went on for the better part of 30+ minutes. Each manager offered me the same two things: a better rate and an offer to stop calling me. The finally hung up on me when I started lobbing F-bombs at them! If you think I should have taken the offer, read on:
I sent a certified letter to them the same night, requesting the account be closed and requesting an apology for my treatment as a customer.
Now, as of today, I have received TWO letters from Discover, both acknowledging that my account has been closed. One is dated the night of the infamous phone call/f-bombing. The other acknowledges my cancellation letter.
I have since also received my monthly bill. It states my available credit limit is $0.00 (That means "closed," right?)
As of last night,..the 5 for 5 is still going on!!!
Now,..if there's one thing I learned earning my degree in Health Care Management, its this:
For every 1 person that hears of good service, 16 people hear about bad service.
Since my blog averages about 17 hits/day,..I'd say we're even!
Remember readers,..friends don't let friends use the Discover Card!
posted by TheBitterAmerican @ 11:40 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Discover card needs to "Discover" employees with half a brain. Heck. Ganglia would suffice.
I now monitor my calls. They are too stupid ro realize a machine has answered their calls. I come home to atleast 4 messages of "...Hello? Is Ms. I-tire-of-your-idiocy-stop-calling-me in? Hello? This is Lameass at Discover.Hello?"
Shouldn't your "Bill" state "closed account' as well?
No, rags,..the bill simply has my current balance and an available credit limit of $0.00
As for the calls, I'm changing my recording to "Hello? Hello? I'm not here,..etc" SInce most of these calls are triggered to reply when they hear the "Hello."
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